Dear American Friends Thinking About Moving to Canada Because of Trump’s Presidency

Hi all, I’d like to thank you for considering about joining me in my little country just north of where you live, or in the case of Alaskans and Hawaiians, to your east. Anyways, I would like to welcome you to Canada, if you come. However, I would like to kindly remind said all that the problems of your homeland will not be resolved through emigration.

While I sympathize with Democratic Party voters, moving to another country will not realize your dreams. Instead, the Democratic Party must gain control of the White House, the Supreme Court, and, most importantly, the US Congress.

How can this be accomplished?

In broad and simple strokes, the Democratic Party should:

  1. Maintain consistent and ongoing grassroots work among constituents,
  2. Fight tooth and nail for every vote in America—especially the rural votes—rather than preach to its urban choir, and
  3. Take control of Congress, duh.

I do salute Hillary for speaking to the better angels of Americans and for being the only sane presidential choice. She was the better candidate and she would have been elected head of government of another country years ago. It is ironic that although Hillary has inspired a generation of female heads of government around the world, she herself was not elected the President of the US. I hope she isn’t arrested for simply being Trump’s opponent, because that would be quite totalitarian and wrong.

It is also unfortunate, I know, that the writers of The Simpsons were right and that Donald Trump will become the president of the United States. At the least, however, that means that there will be some four years in which the Democratic Party can rebuild itself into something that functions… functions well and that functions competitively.